


A New Dawn, A New Day

by Lexilindale35



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 10:03:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexilindale35/pseuds/Lexilindale35
Summary: Cassian and Nesta talk about the aftermaths of war.





	A New Dawn, A New Day

**Author's Note:**

> I needed more of a conclusion for my precious ship.  
> so here's my ending of ACOWAR.

Nesta locked herself in her room. No matter how many times Feyre or Elain knocked, she just wouldn't come out. Everyday her sisters tried. They talked through the door, they offered her food and drinks. They wanted her company, they wanted her to come out. But she wouldn't answer, she wouldn't open her door.

They all had scars, visible and invisible, from the battle they had barely won. Everyone was dealing in their own ways. Feyre has Rhys and Elain was warming up to Az and Mor with each day that passed. Everyone had someone to lean on. But Nesta wouldn't talk to them. Nesta couldn't face everything that had happened that day.

Cassian knew the inner circle would listen to him. He knew Feyre had seen the battle with hybern, from what she explain to him the cauldron had shown her what could've been their final moments. Rhys and Az were always the ones he leaned on. But they had their own scars, hell Rhys had died. He wouldn't burden them with his pain.

Especially when he knew they wouldn't fully understand it. Not what it felt like to be left, to know you would die alone if only to spare your friends. The family you had chosen. No one one else would understand what had happened in those moments with Hybern. 

No one but Nesta. And Cassian was done waiting for her to come to him.

So that morning, when the sun had barely kissed the sky, Cassian didn't knock. He opened her bedroom door and found her room in disarray. The sheets were twisted, the blanket was falling off. Cassian's eyes circled the room until he found her. She was on her balcony, staring off into the sky. She didn't even notice he was there. He wasn't quiet either.

He took a step forward, the echoed on the hardwood floor. Cassian didn't realize it until he was right there, he had been holding his breath. He took in her scent as he relaxed. Her eyes were red, her chin wobbled. She jumped as Cassian walked up behind her. There were dark circles under her eyes, Cassian knew she hadn't been sleeping.

His own nightmares woke him up too. He would wake up panting and grabbing the sheets. The darkness reminding him of what could have been. The darkness reminding him of close they had all come. Dreams where he couldn't save her. Dreams where he couldn't save himself. 

"Go away," her voice had lost that bite. Her body seemed to have lost its fire, "I just. Want to be alone."

Cassian wasn't afraid of her. He had never been afraid of her. He might be the only one. He reached out and touched her waist, "Nesta. I was there. I know it's hard. You don't have to talk to me. But I'm here."

She was silent. Her eyes turned away from him, looking back at the sky. Her eyes were glazed and she ignored him. The silence stretched on for so long Cassian thought she was never going to answer him. But then she turned back towards him before he could leave. More tears filled her eyes, her hands were shaking.

He wanted to reach out. To grab her so she wouldn't fall apart. But he didn't move, he didn't breathe as she finally started to speak.

"I don't know what to say. I've never," her voice broke. He could tell she had trouble finding the words, "my dad was there and then gone. He did that all. For us."

She started to fall. Cassian caught her. She held onto him as he ran his hand through her hair. She cried against his shirt but he didn't care. Because as long as she let him hold her, as long as she let him see her, he would stay. He knew these wounds wouldn't heal easily. He knew it took everything inside of her to fall apart in front of him.

But he wouldn't leave her. Not after everything that they had been through. Not when she had been ready to die with him.

He had been a bastard all his life. He had his brothers sure, but he had been left so many times in his life he couldn't remember what it was like for someone to wait for him. For someone to sacrifice everything for him. For someone to choose him instead of themselves. 

He always put himself at the front of battle, because he knew he wouldn’t be missed. But standing there looking at Nesta, he finally understood how much he had to lose. He finally understood that longing Rhys had whenever Feyre was away. He understood because he had finally given his heart to someone else to hold.

"I thought he forgot about us. I thought he never cared. I was horrible to him. To Feyre. And I never," she hiccuped as Cassian tightened his grip, "I never apologized. I never said I loved him. I don't even remember the last conversation we had. I just hated him. And he died, apologizing to me."

Cassian ran his hand up and down her back gently. Trying to soothe her, to let her fall apart without judgment, without fear. He wanted her to know this was who they were. She had been there for him and he would always be there for her. Nothing, no part of this beautiful fiery woman, could ever scare him.

He wasn't sure how long he held her. It seemed like hours, maybe minutes passed instead. She would sob and say more about her dad. She held onto his shirt with everything she had and tried to pull herself together. Cassian just held her and let her cry. He would be the rock that weathered her storm.

Nesta held onto him tightly, afraid he would disappear the same way her father had. One minute he was there and the next he was gone. She couldn’t bare that happening to this man holding her. She wouldn’t survive another cut like that. Cassian kissed the top of her head, his heart beating against her ear. He was real, he was alive and solid. And he was here with her.

After a few minutes her sobs seemed to slow. He cleared his throat and let out a breath. 

"I know I said you don't have to talk about it. But Nes," he pulled back and wiped a tear off her cheek. His hand shook as she leaned into him. Her steel gray eyes full of something he had never seen before. She held his gaze as he tried to find the words to make sense of everything that had happened.

"Nesta when I thought I was going to die... I just. You were all I saw. I wanted you to run, to be safe. But you didn't," he paused, a small smile tugging on her lips, "no one had ever stayed. Not for me."

This time Nesta reached up and wiped away his tear. She had gotten control over her tears, her touch like a feather against his skin. She let out a slow breath, so much being left unsaid between them. And yet so much more had been said already. Nesta let him in. Nesta saved him not once but twice on that battlefield. 

Nesta was inside his heart, under his skin. He loved this woman, and there was no going back. There was nothing he could do to tear himself away from her. For the rest of his immortal life he would worship her. He would prove to her she deserved this life.

She deserved this love.

Nesta nodded her head slowly. She still held his gaze, her hand resting on his cheek now, "I know," her voice broke, "I couldn't leave you. I just. You protected me so many times, I had to protect you. Even if it meant it was the last time."

Tears brimmed his eyes, "Nesta I know you're healing, we all are. But I, after everything that's happened I can't ignore what I feel. What I want."

She didn't waste a second deciding. She leaned in and this time Nesta pressed her lips to his. Cassian didn't hesitate he wrapped his arms around her and finally found his home. After all the pain, all the gore, this moment was worth it. To have her here in his arms, to kiss her and know that their darkest days were behind them.

Cassian smiled against her lips. He tightened his hold on her as she leaned into him. He knew it would take more than a moment like this to heal them completely. A small moment when he slipped past her armor and saw her for who she was. For the beautiful woman who had somehow found her way into his soul. But it was a start. He would take this moment, and all the others of her hissing and bitching at him, over the silence that had been her home for the last few days.

Nesta pulled away, "I don't know. What I feel. I'm not good at figuring out what I want. But I knew I couldn't leave you for Hybern to kill. I don't think I could ever leave you. It's like you've gotten into my blood, Cassian. When the Claudron blew apart all I could see was you in its path. I could feel your heart beside mine, begging you to move."

He reached up and pushed her beautiful hair behind her pointed ear. He kissed her again, softly, slowly. As if to promise her he was real. That terrible ending hadn't been written. They were both here, in one piece. Even if their hearts were still stitching back together.

"I heard you. You saved me," he said softly as she leaned her head against his chest, "you saved me before this war. You, Nesta Acheron, are the light that led me through the darkness of this war."

Her smile was small, "whatever else this long life of ours has to offer. I don't think I'd mind standing beside you for most of it."

Cassian's smile was beautiful. It lit up his entire face, his eyes sparkling, "as long as you want me, I'm yours Nesta. From the moment you kneed me in the groin as a human, I've been yours."

He laced his fingers through hers and she stood up on her tip toes once more. She kissed him softly, before pulling away to settle in his arms once again. Cassian held her tightly, afraid this moment would break. Afraid he would scare her if he told her exactly how he felt. How much he wanted her.

So he stood there and watched the sun rise higher in the sky, holding the woman who had become more than important to him. Who had become the tether that kept him here, in this world. In this new life. 

They had been given a second chance. Cassian would take it and make it the best he could. He would write a story with Nesta, a love story so real and so beautiful they would talk about it for years to come. A love story that brought two worlds together. 

He knew what Feyre and Rhys had was special. A bond to keep them linked, to connect them forever. It was rare and special, something that their mother had always told them stories about. He would be lying if he said he had never dreamt of a life where he found his equal, his mate. 

But Cassian's chest swelled as he held Nesta in his arms. Because it wasn't the bond that tethered them together. It was their souls, it was their hearts. It was them choosing to be in each other's lives. Nothing forced them together except for the fact that they didn’t want to be apart.

It wasn't fate or the cauldron that chose her for him. It was Nesta who chose Cassian. It was Cassian who would only ever choose Nesta. She was his person. She was his brightest star in this brand new court of dreams.

And maybe they were still finding their way out of the war torn world. But there in that room, Cassian knew why they had survived. So they could rebuild. So they could help each other heal. Together.


End file.
